Wot Funnies 15 - semi gif edition

Nation vs Nation on Monastery map - USSR vs France
French team - 1 AMX50B, 10 batchats, 1 batchat 155 and 3x AMX48
- Whoa a whole band of drummers!
- Wait what about the 48s?
other team - Bas guitars.

 New medal - Defiant
Given for 20 battles on a notebook when the wife takes away your mouse.
New medal - Indomitable
Given for 100 battles on your mouse once the wife takes away your notebook.

Playing platoon with 2 buddies. 3 AM, in the middle of the night. Suddenly the E-100 cries in the TC
-Help*cough* help!
me- What is it?
friend 2- Nothing on map, arty?
E-100- Guys Help!*Cough*
Our batchats swing around the map and find his E-100 alone, rammed in a rock
me - Dude, what is it?
E-100 - Help! *cough* My wife is choking me!

Wot funnies 14

When I proposed to my girlfriend in french she was delighted and said it was the most romantic thing she's ever heard. I hope she never starts learning french, because I actually said "Main gun damaged" and "Optics destroyed"

Only place you'd see snow this year in EU? Severogorsk.

 Before getting E-25 I asked my clan mates for opinion.
This one convinced me "Even your own team hates you."

 Question - How many premium tanks do you need to be happy?
Answer - One more.

Gold shells are like bribes. You are totally against it until its your turn at the trout.

Wot Funnies 13 - Gif edition

Round starts. A player with decent stats is acting completely noobish. All around people start asking wtf is he doing.
- That's not my account
- Yeah kinda obvious you bought it.
-Thats my mother's account.
- Wait your mum plays WoT?
- No, my father plays tanks, but only mum knows the password.

- Shit, half this team is stock!
Enemy T92 - don't worry I love you the way you are!

Chocolate, Cola, Pudding and Tea...nothing helped! Vacuum cleaner for +30 FPS? Now that's the real deal
(which reminds me to clean my PC too...)

World of tanks animations online

Just like everything else, WoT has gathered a number of fan works.

Jokes, art and photoshop aside - we have the animations.

Here are 3 of the top WoT animators on youtube.

First one is Ranzar, the most popular by far.


http://www.youtube.com/user/RanZarEng/videos

Ranzar updates fairly regularly and already made dozens of videos. There are also How To's for people who want to try making their own.


Next is Shootanimationstudio

http://www.youtube.com/user/ShootAnimationStudio/videos

They have both english and russian versions of their vids. (and censored and uncensored since there is some swearing here and there)

However not all of their stuff is translated yet.

Finally there is Studio70RU


They have much fewer vids but with good 3d animation.
http://www.youtube.com/user/studio70RU/videos

You don't need translation either since there is no text or voice. Jokes are quite good though. Especially the Blue oyster...

Got any suggestions ? Bring them on!

WoT funnies 11

 D'Artagnan and the 3 russophiles.
Ali Baba and the 40 damage.
Gone with the RNG.
Crime and chat ban.
The Golden shell.
Platoon!
Close encounters on lane 3.
The silence of the Foch.

Got 24h prem - lights out. Got weekly prem - work assignment. Got monthly prem - wife wanted vacation. Got 1 year prem - now I'm reading the penal codex.

-Honey, are you feeling neglected because of tanks?
- No, I'm not jealous at all.
- Oh come on for real?
- Yes for real.
- Aaaw so cute, let's cuddle!
- Go cuddle with your Maus!

Wot funnies 10

Longest Subway of them all... 

Skype convo:

- Platoon?

-Can't. Just couple of rounds while wife is in the bathtub.

- Meh, just lock the door and let's go.

Стоит JagdPz E-100 рядом с замком в Эрленберге контролирует мост к нему едут вражеские танки.
JagdPz E-100: "Мост платный. Проезд стоит 1100 хп. Соблюдаем очередь, толпой не идём".
Вражеский светляк: "Детям скидку сделаешь?"
JagdPz E-100: " Детям до 7 лвл ваншот"

Jag E-100 covers a bridge on Erlenberg against incoming push and writes on open chat.
"Toll bridge - passing costs 1100hp. Please wait your turn in an orderly manner."
Enemy scout asks " What about a child ticket?"
Jagd E-100 - " Children up to tier 7 - free one-shot."

Wot funnies 9

Whats the common between artillery and ground attack planes?
A: All they are good at, is knocking down trees.

What makes people religious?
A:  ELC AMX bouncing from JaGP E-100.

 Ingame chat:
T34-85 : Guys, how are british heavies? How do they play like?
Churchill I: Just press W.

WoT funnies 8

Random battles explained...

Live oaks - tier 10, 3x arties per team

*GW-E one shots a Foch.*

GW-E: They say arty got nerfed...

*T92 oneshots a IS8*

T92: Just rumours....

Same map - different game.

IS3 gets one-shotted by a Lorraine 155

IS3 -Hey Lori,  you forgot to download the patch or something? 

One good thing about 0.8.6 is that SU-5 is no longer worried about having only 12 shells...

WoT funnies 7

- Neightbour's gone crazy. Says he'll make a Sherman costume for next Halloween.
- And I'm playing the Stuart.
- No shit...Well, guess I better be the Grille then.

I have the feeling I know what was this man doing all alone in a hotel room...

Two young mothers were chatting at the children's playground.
A - So where is your husband dear?
B- Said he had important task after work. How about yours?
A- Same. Important meeting after work.
B- Playing Tanks again?
A- You bet...

Only german tanks increase both in size and complexity of their names.

Only russian tanks keep getting smaller and lighter with every tier...until only a fuel tank and ammo rack with tracks beneath them remains.

Only in American tanks the steel ran out after making the turret and the commander's periscopes. 

Only in French tanks tier 3 has better armour than a tier 10. And the low tiers have motorbike engines...

Only the British refuse to believe in sloped armour...while borrowing engines for heavy tanks from the French.

WoT funnies 6

With the announcement of the first Global Campaign, most recruiters changed tactics.

Now they say : Clan (This or That) recruiting 18+, must have TS3 and unlocked MS-1

Mixed feeling is when you are in arty, the entire team is capping and and single scout enters the base. You know victory is near and that nobody will come to save you either.

 Testing of 8.6

chat:

T92- Hmmm can't see the aiming circle...

GW-E:- Me neither....

Batchat 155: - Increase you resolutions guys! 

WoT funnies 5

Most jokes about T95 are made by T95 drivers themselves. They have plenty of time. 

random fight

Arty: - Gentlemen! I'm willing to sell my teammates positions for 500 gold apiece!

T-34 - He's on K8, no need to send gold! 

Random fight

A: - Recruiting for clan Bla bla bla,

18+ 2xT10 and TS3!

B:- and whats the pay rate?

C: - Perhaps you want summer vacation too huh? 

WoT funnies 4

Q: - Guys does the box of cola increase view range?
A: - Sure, the commander sits on it when peeking from the hatch.

Q:What is the light arty players see just before death?
A:Sixth sense skill.

During the physics testing, there was one occasion (now classified by WG) when 2(two) Raissenai heroes medals(earned for 14+kills in a game) were won in a single round. Both by the Westfield bridge.

Different tank thoughts at round start:
T50-2- Must reach arty!
Maus - Must reach hard cover!
T95 - Must reach end of white circle!

WoT funnies 3

There are several types of tankers.
The pessimist sees nothing but the endless dark forest of Murovanka.
The optimist sees the light at the end of it.
The realist is aware that the light probably spotted him already.

A Wot player is allowed a mistake only twice in a battle.

The repair kit will fix the first. 

A Stalin 3 brings a Su- 26 to a high level battle.

Mid combat the enemy T-54 asks.

- Su-26 are you shooting gold?

- You can't prove anything! 

An unnamed unicum from a big clan joins a random fight. T95 asks him:

- Dude, do they send you here as punishment or something?

WoT funnies 2

Yesterday I unveiled my 1:1 KV-2 model in my yard. It gave me +100% to Nice neighbours.

In a family where the father was a tanker, he had to take care of the baby for the weekend. Finally the mum is home and goes straight to the crib.
Mother: - Aaaaaw who's my good boy!
Baby: - Bo!...Bo!
Mother:- Honey I think he just said his first word! Come quick!
Baby: - Bo!... Bounced off!
Mother: RICHARD COME HERE THIS INSTANT!

KV-2 is a very interesting tank. You can often ammo rack a racing T-50-2 from 300 meters away, yet miss completely a Hellcat trying to ram you to death.


By the time my AT-2 reached combat, I was already the top tank of the team....

WoT funnies

For the record the jokes are mostly translations.

- Dude how mad is she at me?
- Let me put it this way, she named her KV-5 radioman after you.

Prokhorovka battle. T50-2 rushes the base and kills 3 arties
T50-2: Paskuchi!
He kills another:
T50-2: Dimitru!
He kills a fifth.
T50-2: Burda!
IS 3 knocks out his engine. With only 2 HP and no steering the T50-2 crashes in a KV-2
IS-3: Here's harakiri and kamikadze for good measure!

Prebattle chat

xxx: Man I really want a T26E4
yyyy: Me too I have it unlocked but did not touch it.
xxxx: What do you mean unlocked? Its a premium!
yyyy: Thats why I did not touch it :)



Westfield assault - attacking team.

KV-2: - I propose a blitzkrieg!
player1: Sure!
player2: Ok!
KV-2: Oh shit, I thought I was in my cromwell. Ok I propose a slow-and-steady krieg!.